


it hurts to let you go

by bbclouds (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21987736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bbclouds
Summary: wherein jisung has left the world; and all minho has left of him are memories — memories that he doesn’t want to let go of.jisung watches over him silently instead of moving on — until one day, he decides to finally let go and say his last goodbye.
Relationships: Han / Lee know, Han Jisung / Lee Minho, Minsung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	it hurts to let you go

He didn’t know how long he’d been walking for. The row of dim streetlights seemed to go on forever as he walked aimlessly along the streets.

Minho exhaled deeply, watching as the puffs of hot air that escaped his mouth met the cold air in a rush of smoke. He relished in the frigid air that embraced him; it reminded him of times when Jisung would wake up sleepily, insisting on leaving their warm bed and taking strolls in the park at three in the morning because Minho couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

_”Minho-ah, why aren’t you asleep yet?” Jisung blinked groggily, rubbing the sleep gently from his eyes. “It’s three in the morning.”_

_Minho sighed apologetically. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I couldn’t sleep.”_

_Jisung snaked an arm around his waist, burying his face into the crook of Minho’s neck further. “Something on your mind?”  
_

_Minho shrugged slightly. “Not really, I just... can’t seem to fall asleep.”_

_Jisung hummed in reply, sending tiny tickling vibrations down Minho’s body. “Let’s go.”_

_”Where to? It’s three in the morning, Sung.”_  
  


_“Let’s take a walk in the park.” Jisung whispered. “The cold air can be rather comforting at times like these.”_

_Minho couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m alright, you can go back to sleep. Look at you, you can barely stay awake.”_

_Jisung shook his head with a small pout, opening his eyes as wide as he could. “I’m awake! And now I can’t sleep so you ha_ ve to accompany me there.”

Blinking away the small tear at the corner of his eye, Minho smiled softly at the memory. He would give anything for tiny moments like these again; to feel the soft caress of Jisung’s hair against his cheeks, the warmth of Jisung’s breath against his neck as he chuckled, the feel of Jisung’s arm wrapped around him. 

Sighing deeply, Minho came to a stop at the park bench in the middle of the park. He ran his hands slowly across the wood. It seemed much larger now that he was the only one sitting on it, there was an empty space where Jisung used to exist. Minho lay down on it and closed his eyes.

_”It’s beautiful,” Jisung whispered, pointing at the bright stars that hung in the night sky. “Those two look like us.”_

_“They do?”_

_“They’re all the way there, just the two of them, away from the rest of the stars.” Jisung explained, pointing to the two lone stars separated from the huge cluster in the middle. “Do you think they’re lost?”_

_“How could they be lost? They’re already right beside each other, where they’re meant to be.” Minho murmured, heart skipping as he watched Jisung’s eyes light up in delight upon hearing his words._

_“You’re right.” He wanted to capture that moment forever; Jisung’s head in his lap, eyes shining with the light of a thousand stars as he gazed in amazement at the sky, the warmth of his body warming Minho’s cold one. He wanted to take that moment and store it deep in his heart, where it would never be lost._

_“Minho?” Jisung asked._

_“Hmm?” Minho hummed softly in reply, unable to tear his eyes away from the vast galaxy that he discovered in Jisung’s eyes._

_“I want us to stay like this forever.” Jisung admitted. “Just the both of us.”_

_“I’ll always be by your side, Sung.” Minho smiled. “If you never leave me, we’ll always be together, I promise.”_

_Jisung nodded happily, turning his attention back to the night sky. “I won’t ever leave you.”_

Minho kept his eyes closed long after the memory ended. It was colder than he’d remembered, perhaps it was because this time, he was missing the warmth of the person he once had next to him.

“You said you would never leave,” he whispered, ignoring the small crack of his voice that betrayed his emotions.

Minho kept his eyes shut, wanting to remain in the memory for as long as possible, wanting to hold the boy he loved in his arms even longer — even if he knew that it was just a memory.

But a small part of him hoped that Jisung would actually be there, standing in front of him, that he’d get to watch as Jisung’s eyes crinkled in a soft smile that was usually reserved just for him, when he opened his eyes.

And he did get to see him — just differently from how he’d hoped. 

A river of stars lit up the night, shining brightly against the comforting embrace of the ebony sky, reminding Minho closely of the way Jisung’s eyes sparkled that night.

He searched desperately for those two stars — _were they still together? were they lost?_ he felt stupid, searching for answers among the stars. 

His heart seemed to stop as his eyes came to rest at a familiar pair of stars, hanging side by side, away from the others. One of the stars seemed brighter than the other, but nevertheless, still together.

His breath caught in his throat. “You’re still here. You’ve never left, have you?”

A boy watches him from a distance. A boy with a heart full of love and longing and heartbreak that he couldn’t even begin to express. A boy sobbing silently as he watches the one he loves seem desperately for answers he would never get. 

_How could I ever leave you?_

A silent reply to a question left unanswered.

Minho looks to the sky once again, and this time he seems calmer. And in the silence of the night, his voice, despite being only a small whisper, cuts clearly into the night.

“I love you, Jisung,” Minho whispered, smiling at the pair of stars reflecting back at him. “I always will.” 

The boy finally takes a step forward. And another. Until he comes to stand directly in front of Minho. And when he looks up to meet the eyes of the boy he loves, he understands everything clearly.

The undelivered messages, the unspoken words, the longing, the love. Suddenly, everything is clear to him. ‘ _I hope you’re happy wherever you are, I love you and I will never stop loving you.’_

Eyes brimming with unshed tears, the boy raises his hand to gently cup the side of Minho’s face, brushing away a tear that had fallen.

_I love you too. More than anything I’ve ever known._

As he reaches out to hold Minho’s hand one last time, he smiles. In a silent goodbye, Jisung kisses his hand gently. _Goodbye._

As quickly as it had arrived, the warmth that filled Minho disappeared, vanishing with the wind, leaving behind only a deep feeling of peace in his heart.

Quietly, he closes his eyes once more.

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this story was inspired by akmu’s song — how can I love the heartbreak, you’re the one I love. I spent quite a lot of time writing this, and although it’s heavily unedited, I hope you like it! I’ve also posted this on twitter <3 leave any comments below, I’d love to read them!


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